What is a good comeback for when someone calls you flat?

I was thinking of this, bc its mostly boys who say such mean things. Ik it hurts even when we know, we shouldn’t care. I usually wear baggy clothes and i’m a bit thin for an athlete. So ppl usually think my cherries r small, wen they r actually medium for my body size. Coming back to this:

“Why do u care sm if i got big boobs or not?”

“Man, i think ur dick’s short, pretty much of a dissapointment, don’t u think?”

So I’m getting piano lessons and my teacher wants me to get an upright piano instead of a keyboard. An upright piano is way above my price range, so what do I do? And what’s the difference between an upright piano and a keyboard?

“I don’t plan on rubbing my tits on ur pussy, lmfao” [for girls]

Anyways, girl, ik u can be pretty insecure cuz im a “idgaf” but it still hurts wen guys tell me that. So please stay strong and dw. Its okay, bc sexualising urself jus for others who don’t gv a DAMN abt u is WAY MORE WORSE than eating dung. Remember ur the only person in the world, who can love u, through n through wen no-one’s around. Seems like an easy thing to say but a hard thing to do, so don’t overstep ur boundaries bbgg<3

“WHy? U tryna get urself raped with those things on ur chest?”

Why are black people seen as scary or a threat to some people?

“At least they’re not as huge as yours. Yours r sagging.” [works on boys af]

“Did u think abt me all night to figure that out?”

“Thank god, im not ur ideal type, that wud be much worse” [unisex]

My wife has a bunch of really attractive friends, and she expects me to never say anything to her about how beautiful they are. Does this seem fair? I love my wife, and just commenting shouldn’t hurt anything, right?

“I don’t remember sleeping with u??”

“Got urs transplanted??” [unisex]

-mwahh

In the New Testament, Christ quotes the Ethiopian book of Enoch. How do the Sola Scriptura folks square this circle?

“I don’t plan on sleeping with u, so mind ur own business”